March 1, 2020 @ 8:00 AM

Should you trust him? Should you trust her? In relationships, trust is critical. To know that your partner is trustworthy is essential to true intimacy. How can you be intimate with someone you can’t trust? You can’t. One of the country’s leading authorities on marriage and relationships is Dr. John Gottman. Founder of The Gottman Institute, John and his wife,  Julie Gottman, have been studying marriages from a research standpoint at the University of Washington (Seattle, WA) for the past 40 years. Here are 5 criteria John Gottman says are keys to trust in dating, marriage, business, or family:

  1. Honesty
    • Do not trust someone who lies to you.
    • Don’t come up with excuses for why they lied, or talk yourself out of your doubts.
  2. Transparency
    • Make sure they are an open book and that they invite you to meet their family and friends.
  3. Accountability
    • Do they keep their promises and follow through on their commitments?
  4. Ethical Actions
    • If you are detecting immoral actions or if you are uncomfortable with their morals, then move on.
  5. Proof of Alliance
    • If they can demonstrate that they have your back, even in small ways, then that is a good sign.
    • Do they take your best interests to heart instead of acting only out of self-interest?

Trust is a critically-important component of any relationship whether dating, marriage, business or family. If we cannot trust someone, the relationship will never be intimate for intimacy depends on the willingness to trust someone.

Are you trustworthy?